Aloha to all my loyal readers! Yeah I guess I'm still in the Hawaian spirit of things. My wife and I just got back from a week long cruise through the Hawaian islands. We visited the islands of Hilo, Maui, Kona and Kauai. We took the NCL ship The Pride of America. If anyone is looking for an awesome vacation, I recommend booking a cruise with them immediately! I know I've been away for a long time, not all my time was spent in Hawaii. I've been visiting the "Christian" section of www.about.com and have learned something about myself I never knew before, I care what other people think about my opinions.
So that brings me to the topic of my post. Why do I care what other people think? I never used to be this way. When I was in high school and college, I never cared what people thought of me. You could tell that by the way I dressed. I was the only Garth Brooks wannabe in Fairfield County Connecticut!!! Talk about sticking out like a sore thumb! LOL Anyway, when I read a post somewhere, I feel a strong need to share my opinion, so I do so. This has gotten me into conversations I am not intellectually equipped to have with some people. But instead of just walking away I HAVE to defend my position and why I'M right.
Where does this need to be right come from? By the time I'm screaming and yelling at people, I've crossed over from a place of wanting to share my opinion to the dark place of SCPs, ya know the "I'm right and if you think I'm not, you're an idiot," place. When I post a message I'm always thinking in the back of my mind "has someone responded yet? What if they don't like me or what I have to say?" What does that say about me?
Why do I care what other people think? I know that I will suffer for my faith, I know I will be called names and told I'm intellectually retarded for believing in God. I know all that, and I thought I had made peace with it. But when it happens on an internet message board, I actually feel hurt.
I've been spending alot of time on message boards like About.com, so much time that I have not kept up with my daily bible readings. This has to stop! I have to find the strength to say "To Hell with what the world thinks of me. I have my faith and it sustains me. The people on the net will come and go, but God will never leave me. His plan for my life is the only plan for my life" That should be enough. No! It has to be enough, there is nothing else! So why do I find myself still caring?
